I came across some blogs written by sober women and a few of them resonated with me. I actually email one of them (she said on her blog she was open to it). Yes, anti-social me. It appears there may be a world out there with people who can relate and who want to help.
My other attempts consisted mostly of me trying to talk myself into not drinking. Trying harder. Reminding myself of all of the negative consequences. Pushing past the noise the best I could. Making commitments to myself and other, not understanding that I had little chance of succeeding because there was no real game plan.
At Belle's suggestion, I am trying something different.
Here's the plan.
Today
- I committed to the 100 day challenge
- I signed up for Belle's class and will participate, not just lurk
- I am emailing another sober blogger who is open to pen pals
- I started this blog
- I read posts from a few sober blogs
- I poured out all of the wine and sent a photo to Belle
- I booked the first Skype call
About last night, I drank a shit ton of wine. Had snacks too. Once I get into the late night drunk, I want to binge eat. There was nothing in the house except for a couple of old pieces of pizza. They were kind of curled up like those pointy shoes. I microwaved them and ate them except for the crust. Nasty.
It took me a while to find a sober blog I could relate to because a lot of the ones I found, the bloggers were years into their sobriety. I wanted to find a place where people were coming together to work this out, a place I could connect to.
I really wanted to bring a lot last night. Once I was at the point where I was ready to go to sleep, I didn't want to because I wanted to drink more. So I laid across the bed to rest and get enough energy to drink some more.
No comments:
Post a Comment